From grief to gratitude – a mother in Kenya rebuilds her life after tragedy

In a hamlet in the northeast of Kenya, far away from tarmacked roads, there are a few dozen very basic houses. They have been built from rough-cut timbers and other left-over planks and iron sheets. Every house has small fields around it where maize, beans and greens are growing. Chickens and goats lazily scurry around. This place may be marked by poverty, but for Dorcas, it’s also a space where she’s rediscovering joy after much suffering.

A few years ago, Dorcas and her husband lived here together and started their family. Their lives were content, and they seemed set for many more decades of hard work in pursuit of their dreams. This all changed however, when their small village became a target for militants.

Horror in broad daylight

“It was at daytime. My husband was the first one to be attacked. The attackers found him working in our farm fields, which are about a twenty minutes’ walk from our house. They must have forced him to join them in the bush, because we looked for him but didn’t find him. We returned home that evening before dark and waited till the next morning to continue our search for my husband.”

But that night the attackers returned to the village. Dorcas’ husband had his hands tied behind his back. The attackers forced him to lure other villagers to come outside of their houses. At the first house where they came, they made her husband call the inhabitants to open the gate. The family living in that house recognized his voice and came outside. Once outside, the attackers caught the father of the family and decapitated him in front of his wife.

Then they went to the next house. There they found four men. They killed them and burnt the bodies. A boy of five years old escaped. By that time, other villagers found out what was happening and wanted to alert others. The attackers decided to leave. But not before murdering Dorcas’ husband.

Dorcas only found out about the attack the next morning. “I was told that my husband had been killed. It was a very tough moment. I held the hands of my children when I went to see what had happened. It was so painful when we saw him. Our youngest child was just six years old. He kept on asking, ‘Mummy, what did they do to daddy?’ I didn’t know what to tell him.”

Joy comes in the morning

The attackers have never been found. So, Dorcas still doesn’t know who killed her husband, and why they did it. She continues to deal with this uncertainty, but has been able to begin moving past the trauma and sadness. Dorcas and her children have moved in with her parents, so she could have their support in caring for the children.

Alongside the love and practical care from her parents, Dorcas has also been assisted by local Christian ministry partners. She has a clear recollection of the impact of this support. “You brought food to the house of my parents where we were living. You paid school fees for my eldest daughter to continue to go to secondary school. It was so encouraging. It even strengthened me enough to start farming again.”

Neighbours and her local church also provided her with seeds and other things she needed to get started. Counselling also helped tremendously. Through trauma care that was provided by our ministry partners, Dorcas came to understand two things. One, if she wanted to continue living as a mother for her children, she had to come to terms with what had happened to her. And two, she learned how to come to terms with the murder of her husband. “I did not understand forgiveness. How could I forgive those people who did wrong to me? I refused to understand it. I wanted the attackers to be badly punished. To be removed from this earth. But, after your organisation explained that the devil has power and how he uses people to do evil things, I understood that God forgives me what I do wrong and that I can forgive others. I understood that my situation of confusion and hatred blocked me from proceeding with my life like my neighbours. That I had to let go of my hatred and accept my situation of being single, to be able to be a mother again for my children.”

As she continues on her journey of healing, Dorcas still has challenging days. As a farmer she is not yet making enough money to take care of her family, and some days are so emotionally draining she struggles to get through her chores. Still, she perseveres. “Even now, when the daily troubles are overwhelming, I remember these trainings and feel that God is there. The trainings have helped me to open my heart for happiness again.”