Asabe*, a trauma care worker in Northern Nigeria, recalls a time when communities in the region experienced relatively peaceful life. Then, attacks started happening. At first they were spread out to once in a year, but now there are reports of militia activity almost on a weekly basis. Serving in a trauma care centre, Asabe is witness to the impact of many devastating events. She journeys alongside women and families who have faced abduction, rape, killings and loss of livelihood. Some of them are dealing with health challenges such as heart problems. They all need psychosocial support and emotional support. Asabe shares how the Lord has called, carried and equipped her to serve in this capacity.
CREATED TO CARE: I grew up in Nigeria and in most of the communities there are many underprivileged people. So, growing up as somebody that is very emotional, I became concerned about things that are happening with others around me. I grew up nurtured by a Christian mother, so I became concerned about other Christians around me. Women in church and in my community came to relate their issues with me. I became a praying woman, and I prayed with them, I encouraged them and I gave the little I can. I was asking myself the question: why do people keep coming to me? I never knew it was a calling. I prayed about it.
CALLED AND EQUIPPED: When I discovered that the centre was training people that could give care, I said this is something I have been doing, not even knowing that it was caregiving. I went for the training. What motivated me was the fact that women are the most affected. The girl child is the most affected in all these insurgencies in Nigeria. I have made myself available, I went for the trainings, and I’m always at the centre to give care to the persecuted church, especially women that have been kidnapped and raped.
BUILDING ON A SOLID FOUNDATION: The training really helped me because, without the training, I was doing a quick fix. When the women come to relate their issues, I was quick to give advice. That is not helpful, because you might advise somebody to go and do something and if the person follows your advice and it doesn’t work out, the person blames you. The training opened my eyes, empowered me with skills to ask helping questions instead, so that the person will be able to open up. Then together with the survivor, we will be able to profile a solution instead of just giving quick advice. The training really impacted me well. I was empowered and given skills to help, instead of just thinking what to do in the moment. I’ve been empowered with skills to help them to cope in the future, so that they will develop resilience. I help survivors to also see that they can do something to help themselves, even after the situation.
COMPASSION IN ACTION: My role is to make myself available whenever the survivors come into the centre. I give them a welcoming to feel at home. I’m there to show them kindness and friendship. I ensure that the atmosphere is conducive for them to relax.
HOLDING SPACE FOR FEELINGS: There is a manual that we have been trained to use, called: Healing the wounds of trauma. One of my roles is to go through that manual with them. The manual has many important and helpful lessons. Lessons like, why do we suffer if God loves us and what is the wound of the heart? We help them to really know what is happening within them. Why those emotions? What is that thing that is causing trauma for them? We give them an opportunity to see that. Then also there is a one of one very important lesson we talk about, that is how to forgive others. We go through the lessons so that we help them to be able to forgive the perpetrators, not for the sake of the perpetrators, but for their own good and for their own healing.
OPEN HEART AND EARS: Another role is to listen to them attentively, because some of them just need someone to listen to them telling their stories. So, I do the listening and I also pray with them, because some of them in the mix of sharing, you see them breaking down in tears. We give them tissues and we lend them our shoulders to cry on. We hear some of them lamenting and asking for prayers. We pray with them.
